Archive for April, 2015

This is how I procrastinate

I should be working on a paper that’s due a week from today, but instead I’m figuring out how to get tens (or hundreds?) of thousands of real followers on Twitter for a few fake people I’ve created. One of them is a hot girl who likes puppies and kittens and funny pics, another is a female of unspecified age (as of yet) but she is politically conservative and can’t stop watching Fox News, and yet another is a manly man who likes all things manly, especially football. Hot girl also likes football. Weird coincidence.

I’m doing this because of my long-held belief that I know the internet well enough to exploit it for long-term, sustainable financial gain which, if I begin to see some success, will someday involve hiring a contractor in the Philippines to manage these fake personalities. Teachers don’t get paid shit so I gotta get creative. So far my only real online success has been but that was too much work and I feel like the only people who are interested in reading about iPhone apps anymore are iPhone app developers.

I have a loosely-formed strategy which starts with Twitter and ends with a large canvas bag full of money, and there is a big dollar sign printed on that bag. Yes, thank you, my plan is brilliant. Nearly three years ago I experimented with fake Twitter followers but did nothing with them. I was just curious about the fakes. I got 20,000 fake followers which, three years later, is now down to 261*. I guess those fake Twitter followers don’t last forever. But I’ve done some more digging and I believe there is a way to use third party services and statistical probability to turn fake followers into real followers, and then those real followers slowly morph into the money bag. As with many entrepreneurial pursuits the internet is a numbers game, and it takes big numbers to fill the bag.

As of this moment, hot girl has precisely eight followers on Twitter (mostly friends but all are real), unspecified Republican female has one (manly man), and manly man has two followers (one of them is real, the other is a Twitter alias that I invented for academic purposes, tesolrobot). Let’s see, three twitter accounts and a grand total of nine real followers. That’s not gonna cut it. I’ll post an update after I start to see the results of the new Twitter follower-getting strategy that I learned from YouTube. Cost-wise I’ll have to spend the equivalent of about three foot-long Subway sandwiches to test each of my three Twitter accounts (a foot-long in Korea is about $9… no $5 foot-longs here), but I have confidence. I think this will be fun. Plan Z is most definitely in effect, but that doesn’t mean I have to abandon all other plans. You know what? Let’s call this Twitter shit Plan X. Yeah. Plan X, because who the fuck knows when it will succeed or if I’ll ever give up on it. Spoiler alert: I probably won’t give up on it.

I actually like teaching and in a strange way I also enjoy academia, but the dream of spending the rest of my life on the couch, in my underwear, and not giving a fuck, is still alive. Some dreams never die.

Now it’s time to get back to grad school bizness.

* 5/4/15 Update: I’m hijacking @kickedintheball for my NCAA Amazon project, so my new USC Twitter handle will inherit the fakes.

posted by Michael in Plan X on 4/24/2015 | No Comments

Terry making a weird face at the park


Back to normal


posted by Michael in Walking Terry on 4/12/2015 | No Comments

Some of my students


Daniel, Lisa, Paul, Hyoseo


Apple, Eileen/Aileen, Andy, Jason


Minsoo, Brian, Lacey, Sua


Flora, Jinseo, Stephanie, Victoria


posted by Michael in Whatever on 4/12/2015 | No Comments

Week 5 homework

I already posted my Easter thing so this is just a bunch of questions from the reading for both Teaching Writing and Brain Class (Human Cognition and Learning).

Brain class. I kind of punted on the last three questions. I really should hold off on cracking open the celebratory beer until I’m actually done with homework. 

Terry (2006) Chapter 7, Human Memory: Conceptual Approaches
1. What is Dual-Store Theory and how does it explain memory?
The Dual-Store Theory states that memory is divided into short- and long-term memory, and each of these types of memory exhibit different traits. Short-term memory, as indicated by its name, is very brief and is limited in capacity. Once an item or series of items have been stored in STM, they may be displaced by additional items that follow, such as when attempting to remember a string of numbers or words. LTM does not suffer from these shortcomings and has no discernible limits on storage capacity or length of recall. For example, it would be difficult for another person to remember this string of numbers: 71839111402569103070. I, on the other hand, stored these numbers years ago in my long-term memory as the respective birthdates of my father, mother, sister, and brother. STM and LTM may be separate in the way they function, but STM does serve the purpose of encoding information into LTM (Terry, 2006, p. 196-197). Glanzer & Cunitz (1966, as cited on p. 197) also found that the primacy effect was enhanced when words were presented at a slower pace, allowing for more rehearsals in STM which led to better LTM encoding. Terry also noted that the recency effect of the serial position curve disappears over time but the primacy effect remains (p. 197). Most teachers are probably already aware that delivering lessons slowly is more conducive to learning than speeding through them, but Glanzer & Cunitz’s study serves as a reminder that pace can be an important factor in the classroom.

Read more…

posted by Michael in Back to School on 4/10/2015 | No Comments

I don’t think she got the joke

In my Teaching Writing class I have to participate in this message board thing that the whole class does. One of the students complained that her refrigerator is making a high-pitched noise and asked for advice on how to stop it.

Her: Since I moved other town last week, I annoyed with noise of my refrigerator. It sounds high frequency and I cannot help hearing this sound. Is there anyone know about this sound? How can I do? For now, I stand this sound and try to ignore the sound. But it’s too hard to ignore the noise..!

Me: Your ears gradually lose the ability to hear high frequency sounds as you get older. This is why old men can’t hear their wives, but they can hear other men just fine. If you live in that apartment long enough, the high frequency sound will eventually go away! It might take 30 years, but it will happen. Just be patient.

Her: Really?? I didn’t konw that ever! THanks for your advice~~!

Me: Ummm… you’re welcome? haha 🙂

I know. I’m hilarious.

posted by Michael in Back to School on 4/7/2015 | No Comments

Week 4 homework

We didn’t have writing class last week, so this thing I wrote about Easter is due this week. I just finished it, so I’ll post it now because, um, it’s Easter Sunday. The assignment was to use internet sources to put together an account of how Easter started. Now that I look back at the written description of the assignment I’m not sure if I was supposed to copy and paste from other websites or write it myself… oh well. Fuck it. I wrote it myself, and if the professor has a problem with that then tough shit! I’ve been kicking ass in that class (it’s pretty easy) so if I get dinged on this then so be it. I’m not doing this again.


The Surprisingly Pagan Origins of Easter

Easter Sunday is one of the most important religious holidays on the Christian calendar and, every spring, Bible School teachers around the world dutifully explain to their young pupils how Jesus Christ was crucified, died, and was resurrected three days later. Special emphasis is placed on Christ’s rebirth as being the true reason for celebrating the Easter holiday. What the Bible School teachers don’t explain, however, is how this holiday came to be known as “Easter” and how the holiday has evolved into a time-honored tradition of filling baskets with candy and brightly colored eggs that have ostensibly been delivered by a mythical egg-laying rabbit.

While there is much debate over the origins of the word “Easter” it is interesting to note that the word is all but absent from the Bible. The King James version of the Bible, for instance, mentions Easter by name only once and many other versions omit the word entirely (Aust, n.d.). Most authorities on the subject, including Christians themselves, acknowledge that the naming of the Easter holiday originated from paganism. A widely accepted theory is that Easter’s etymology is derived from Eastre, the Teutonic Goddess of Spring, while there is also evidence to suggest that the name comes from a Babylonian Queen named Semiramis, also known as Queen Ishtar. The association is due to “Ishtar” being a homophone of “Easter” (, n.d.). Other sources claim that the Easter name is the product of an Anglo-Saxon “goddess of the dawn” named Eostre (D’Costa, 2013). Regardless of which version is most accurate, the fact that Easter predates Jesus Christ’s crucifixion (Aust, n.d.) is fairly convincing evidence that it originally had little to do with Christianity. Read more…

posted by Michael in Back to School on 4/5/2015 | No Comments

It’s like grade school all over again

This is how my brain class professor grades our work.

posted by Michael in Back to School on 4/2/2015 | Comment (1)