Hey asshole, put your dog on a leash

LIK returns from its very, very long hiatus (7 months!) to bitch about these fucking people who think it’s ok to let their big dogs run around the streets of Seoul without a leash.

Since last summer, Terry has been attacked by bigger dogs twice. The first time it happened I didn’t really see the threat until it had picked Terry up by the back and was literally shaking him around like a toy. The dog seemed nice enough until he got too close and Terry went apeshit, and I had to stomp on that dog’s back to make him let go… and that day I learned not to let that shit happen again. This dog was chained up outside a restaurant but somehow got loose and found Terry. I yelled at the owners as best I could, but berating people in Korean isn’t something I’m very good at.

The second time it just happened too fast cuz I didn’t see the other dog until he was about 10 feet away. This time the dog’s owner was a fucking asshole who clearly didn’t take care of her. The dog looked like some kind of boxer mix, and her tits were practically dragging on the ground so that’s a good indicator he just lets her run wild, and after a little scuffle between Terry and the pregnant bitch I laid into this guy with every variation of the F word I could think of. He wasn’t Korean so he understood me and he had the fucking nerve to yell back like his off-leash dog was somehow my fault.

So today some old Korean guy is out walking with a goddam Saint Bernard. The dog seemed very docile, was walking towards Terry, but I don’t care how fucking nice a dog seems. If Terry feels threatened he’s gonna go into fight mode, and the other dog will too. So I’m trying to shoo this dog off, and his owner is saying something like “oh he won’t bite”, and eventually I just yelled at the top of my lungs GET YOUR FUCKING DOG OUT OF HERE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. And he grabbed his dog’s collar and walked off. He might not have understood exactly what I said, but all Koreans know the word Fuck and he definitely knew I was about to lose it.

Stories like these aren’t exclusive to Korea… assholes all over the world are negligent with their dogs… but the problem in Korea is that if someone’s dog kills Terry, the police won’t do shit. The dog-eating Korean stereotype is way overblown and Koreans do like animals as pets, but they’re generally still seen as lowly animals whose owners apparently won’t be held responsible for shit unless a human gets hurt. I could probably start a dog-fighting business here and get away with it indefinitely because Korean authorities don’t give a fuck if an animal kills an animal.

So there you have it. If I ever find myself in a Korean jail cell, it’ll be because I kicked the living shit out of someone whose dog got a piece of Terry.

And for anyone who plans on walking down the street with a big dog, even if it’s the nicest one on the planet… PUT YOUR DOG ON A MOTHERFUCKING LEASH. Thanks.

posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 3/12/2013 | No Comments

Anatomy of a craigslist scam

They say on craigslist to beware of people wanting you to wire $$$ and there’s a reason for it! I posted an ad on Seoul’s craigslist looking for a sublet, and this dicklick replied saying that he had a big place available for $1000, but he wanted me to pay $500 upfront as a deposit. Oh yeah, and he’s currently in London.

Since I’m not in Korea yet I thought ok, I’ll send him the money after doing some homework. Yeah, he’s a fucking scammer. He pulled some pics off a website, claimed it was his, and asked for money via Western Union. Looking back at it now it seems pretty obvious, but I really wanted to rent this place (it’s fucking huge) so it took some digging to know for sure what was going on.

Below is my Skype transcript with my friend Dan who lives pretty close to where this apartment is located. It goes from me still thinking the deal is real to finding out how close I came to getting hosed!

[8:44:43 PM] Michael: so I’ve got a possible submet with a guy who has an apt in 반포

[8:45:02 PM] Dan: i assume you meant sublet

[8:45:02 PM] Michael: he’s in London, and he has an “agent” taking care of renting his place out

[8:45:09 PM] Michael: yeah sublet

[8:45:31 PM] Dan: ok

[8:45:40 PM] Michael: so its $1000 for the month and he wants me to western union him $500 deposit, and before I do that I’m gonna want him to do a contract

[8:45:49 PM] Dan: ok

[8:46:29 PM] Michael: the contract could turn out to be meaningless since I’m not there to sign it, but just to make sure this is legit I might ask you to go look at the place and meet the agent

[8:46:44 PM] Michael: is that ok?

[8:47:01 PM] Michael: 반포 is kind of in your area right?

[8:47:08 PM] Dan: hmmm

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posted by Michael in Preparing to Flee on 1/6/2010 | No Comments