How to make your website look like it’s super popular even though it’s actually an unknown piece of shit

1. Go to Fiverr and search for Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, or whatever social network you want to look good on.

2. Pay your $5 and wait however long they say it’ll take… usually it’s a day or two.

3. Voila, your website looks like it’s all popular even though it’s definitely not!

I just did this myself for my wacky new website KICKED IN THE BALLS, and in the space of 24 hours I’ve gone from 2 Facebook fans (me being one, my brother being the other) to 1,149 (that cost me $5), from zero Twitter followers to 21,768 ($5), and from maybe 5-6 Pinterest followers to nearly 900 which should be over 1,000 soon ($5).

OMG isn’t that awesome??!! The answer is no, not really. Truth is you get what you pay for, and when you pay $5 you’re gonna get about $5 worth of, uh, stuff. I definitely wasn’t expecting to suddenly get 1,000 legitimate Facebook “likes” overnight, but I was curious about what these people are selling on Fiverr and wanted to give it a try.

So… what ARE they selling? Well, one way to put it is that they’re selling a stuffed bra. It looks good on the surface, but once you reach in there and start groping you’ll find that the Likes and Followers are all bullshit because they come from fake accounts and will never result in any direct sales or traffic spikes. I guess it’s possible that there could eventually be approximately $5 worth of residual benefits because social networking just works that way in general, but as of right now I’m going to declare my $15 investment a giant kick in the balls! See what I did there? If you don’t get it, go check out KICKED IN THE BALLS.

Below is a look at one of the Fiverr deals I bought and the review I posted after the service was delivered.

 

For google: how to get Facebook likes, how to get lots of Twitter followers, how to get Pinterest followers, Fiverr SEO services

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posted by Michael in Whatever on 6/18/2012 | No Comments

The LIK Page Rank Experiment!

I’ve never attempted to promote LIK and I’ve never cared about how many “hits” LIK is getting, and this is mainly because I don’t give a shit who’s reading this stupid blog! The core audience here is about 4 people including myself, so SEO isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities where Lost in Korea is concerned.

BUT!

I just want to try something. I’ve noticed that a lot of other Korea-related blogs have pretty good Google page ranks, usually in the 3-5 range, and I’d like to see if reciprocal link trades can get LIK in that area too. Why? I dunno. I guess I’m bored.

So right now LIK has a page rank of zero and an Alexa rating of 4,423,765. Both of those numbers are bad! The page rank number should go up and the Alexa number should go down, since a low Alexa number is a good Alexa number. I haven’t requested link trades with anyone, but I’ve added a new section of links in the sidebar titled “More Korea Blogs”, so over time I’ll be trying to get those guys to link back to LIK. Some will, some won’t, but in the end I think it’ll be fun to see how page rank and Alexa are affected. Well, fun for me, anyway! This kind of shit bores most people, but if SEO gives you a boner then pay close attention.

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posted by Michael in Whatever on 5/15/2012 | No Comments